Am I broke my own self?

Well, it’s just a note outside the story. Just my own note ‘bout today. It almost stress me out. I can’t found the correct answer, the correct number. Hey, salah rumus, or catatan yg salah or mang salah dari excelnya. Bener-bener deh nyari, bikin formula and I can’t find the correct answer till 1 pm. I’m alone here with all my stuff. The strange of the chamber. It’s really freak me out. What am I doing here? Like just cut my time, just waste my time till 5 pm. It’s really bad. Bad thing, bad all of thing. Strange and I just get rush. Is it strange? The odd version of me this last year. I don’t know about next year. What I’ll doing, what I’ll gonna do, what I’ll gonna take. I want set up my carrier, but everything seem just like a fatamorghana. Just like they far far away. Just like i can’t catch them. Hey, what am I thinking? It’s bad if all I think just negative, just increase my potential moment, just increase my good side, good moment, good opportunity. I like gonna go. Wanna go to other place. Don’t wanna meet anyone. Just me and all I think inside my head. Just clear all my loan, my stuff, my goods. Clear all thing, clear all my mess mind. Purity my self, purity my mind. I know what I type just incorrect grammar and sentence. I know it. What I type not correct. It’s not about grammar, good word or good sentence.
Well, I really don’t know what will I wanna type. Maybe this’s not important. Just my note. I reliaze for many things I can’t control. I try to escape for many things for years. Now, I’ll face them. I’m not brave at all. I always hide myself. I never show my own feeling. Maybe I’ve been pretending. I asked, where’s the real me? I never can detect my own self, my own feeling. It’s hard to tell because I don’t know how to show it.
I think for many things even that outside my touch, outside my world. It’s tired. And I realize that’s called over thinking. Too much to think. I’m confuse. I don’t know what should I do. I never go ahead and always keep my foot on the hole. Too much to worry.
My, my, it’s my bad. I’ve never can have proper conversation. I’ve no good skill when it come to speaking.
What should I do know? Everything seems dark. But I hope there’s the light behind the tunnel. I’m still regret for many things. Many things that I can’t count. What’s it? The strange feeling I can’t describe. I’m still immature, selfish, never help anyone, and can’t speak properly. I don’t hope for a miracle. Tell me what should I do.